Funny Whatsapp Status and Quotes

Funny Whatsapp Status 

I’m not lazy, I’m just on my energy saving mode..

ME I won’t get jealous. ME Who’s this fucking asshole?

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A man asks a trainer in the gym: “I want 2 impress that beautiful girl , which machine can I use?” Trainer replies: “Use the ATM”

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Everything is 10x funnier when you are not supposed to laugh.

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God is really creative , i mean ..just look at me 

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My study period = 15 minutes. My break time = 3 hours.

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The only piece of ass you’re ever gonna get is when your hands slip through the toilet paper.

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The awkward moment when you enter someone’s house and think.. WTF is that smell?

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Four pegs at night will make me stringer 

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Stop checking my status ! Go Get A Life 

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We have a history together ……and English and French also 

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Admi to vaise hum kaam k the… bas pyar me barbad ho gye..

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I’ll marry that girl who looks preety on her aadhar card…

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People say everything happens for a reason. So when I punch you in the face, remember I have a reason. 

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Open Books, Not Legs. Blow Minds, Not Guy.

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VerGinItY iS nOt DiGiNiTy….. It’S lAck oF oPpoRtuNiTy…

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Teri Bandi Meri FAN… Catch me if you can 

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Someone on his status “Sleeping” …since 3 Days! He’s Probably dead.

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Do You Want To Go Out With Me? (A) Yes (B) A (C) B.

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You fake your smile daily, then judge people for getting a fake tan.

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I’m all for change as long as it doesn’t directly affect my routine.

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The only thing I gained so far in 2014 is weight 

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I don’t usually sleep enough, but when I do, it’s still not enough 

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I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone. 

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I just found out there is nothing worng with me, its the world that has issues…

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SAVE WATER! Always take shower with your GF….:P

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If women could read MINDS, Every second man will get SLAPPED…:)

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Guys have no idea how long something they’ve said can stay on a girls mind.

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“Hmm” is the best way to say “Bas kar BC. Ab baat nahi karni tujhse”

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My phone battery dieS faster than my dreams.

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