July 24, 2015
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50+ Santa Banta Jokes SMS - Whatsapp Jokes

Santa-Yaar Ye Bata Is Duniya Me Kitne Desh Hai Banta-Are Pagal Is Duniya Me Ek Hi To Desh Hai Jiska Naam India Hai Baki To Sab Videsh Hai.
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 Santa: I am so miser (kanjoos) that I went alone for my honeymoon and saved half the money. Bania: That is nothing, I saved full money. I sent my wife for honeymoon with a friend.
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 santa ki beti "LAADO" Bacpan se japan me thi Wo india aai per airport se return ho gayi Q ki waha bord lagha tha "NA AANA IS DESH MERI LADO"
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 Santa :- jaldi ek cold drink de, ladai hone wali hai.. Shop Keeper :- lo ! Shopkeeper :- jaldi ek or de, ladai hone wali hai... Shopkeeper :- lekin ladai kab hogi... Shopkeeper :-jab tu paise maangega tab
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 How do you convert a BUS into a female ?? SANTCome late to the bus stop..BUS MISS ho Jaayegi.
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 once SANTA stopped a fight stil he was punished y?coz the fight he stopped was a boxing match
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 Maths teacher was teaching mathematical conversions.. TeacheIf 1000 kgs=ton then 3000 kgs equal how much ?Santa: Ton.! Ton.!Ton.!..
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 How do you convert a BUS into a female ?? SANTCome late to the bus stop..BUS MISS ho Jaayegi.
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 Why does Sardarji cleans the wall with an EAR BUD?Guess...!sochooo.......KYUNKI.....diwaron ke bhi kaan hote hai....
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 Sir:Bijli Kaha Se Aati Hai?Banta: Mama K Ghar Se.Sir:Wo Kaise?Bnta: KyuKi Jab B Bijli Jati Hai Papa Kahte Hai Saalo Ne fir kaat di!
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 In a maths eXam everyone was writing except SANTA was dancing. Y..?because someone told him that there is marks for every step
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 Hindi teacher asks:Kaal Kitne prakaar K hote hain?SANTA answers:Local Kaal, STD Kaal, Trunk Kaal, ISD kaal &dfamous "sastria_Kaal"
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 SantaBanta: What is a Sindhi called who falls from : 1st floor - Thadani. 17th floor - Kriplani. 30th floor - Marjani.
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 once SANTA stopped a fight stil he was punished y'coz the fight he stopped was a boxing match
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 SANTA- I saw my wife going to movie with watchman Friend- Didn't U follow them?SANTA- No yaar, I have already seen that movie..!
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 Santa: Bhaisahab time kya hua?Man: Sham ke 6 baje hain!Santa: Subah se pooch raha hoon, sab alag alag time bata rahe hain.
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 Sardar 1: mene apne bete ka naam america rakha hai.Sardar 2: kyu?Sardar 1: me duniya ko batana chahta hu ki me america ka baap hu...|
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 Sardar watching TV with WifeWife"If Edison wouldn't had invented Power, Wht would U have done?"Sardar"I would have watch TV with candle
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 A sardar had a child aftr 3 mnth of marige.He askd his wife ye 3mnth k bad bacha kaise hua?Wife replied:tmhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?Srdar:3month.wife:or meri shadi ko.Srdar:3mnthwife:or bacha kitne month k baad.Srdar:3 mnth.Wife:total kitne hue.
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 1st sardar:yaar tum nay apni biwi ko talaq kyon di?2nd sardar:yaar woh bari character less thi shaadi mujh say aur bacha bhagwan say mangti thi.
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 A sardarji went 2 a STD PCO ISD shop n slapped the operator twice ....guess why? cuz der it was witten...'number dial karne se pehele do lagae'..!
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 3pupil were going on motorcycle,policeman give hand to stop.Santa shouted-oye pagal pahle hi 3 baithay tuje kaha baithe ga
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 A girl sitting in examination hall with sardar ji.. Girl- sardarji, mein tumhari nakal marloo..! Sardar- ahoo, tu meri nakal maar lay, fir mein teri asal maarta hu?
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 Santa : People consider me as "God"Banta : How do you know??Santa : When I went to the park today,everybody said, Oh God! Uve come again.
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 Santa-Kal Muje 10 logo ne Peeta. Frnd-Fir Tune kya kiya? Santa-Mene unse kaha salo 1-1 karke Aao. Frnd-Phir? Santa-Phir kya,Salo ne 1-1 karke dubara Peeta !.
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 Fakir to SANTA ke Padosi ne Pet bhar Ke khana khilaya he, Aap bhi Kuch khilao.SANTA Ye Lo HAJMOLA?
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 SANTA enters kitchen, opens sugar container, looks inside and closes it. He does this again and again. Why?Because his Doctor told him to check sugar level regularly.
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 Sardar after throwing his mobile in wateAa aa upar aa?Frnd: Arre,pani me mobile feka to wo upar kaise aaega?Sardar:Oye, kyun nahi aaega....Dolphin hai jump bhi marega!!
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 A studnt atachd Rs.100 Note 2 his test paper & wrote Re.1 for 1 mark, Sardar was paper checker; He sent him Rs.66 back & wrote-U got 34 mark
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 A lady was kissing a lion inside a cage in circus.Ring master- Can anyone do it? SANTA:-main aata hun par pehle sher ko to hatao.
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 SANTA witnessed an accident & rushed to assist the driver of a car who's seriously injured. Pulling him out of the wreakage, the driver said with breathing difficulty, "Please..call me..ambulance".SANTA replied "Ok, ok Ambulance . . . !
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 In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@15.25, it"s loss or profit? SANTA Profit in rupees & loss in paise
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 SANTA sukhe khet mein boat chala raha tha BANTA-aise SARDARO ne hi SARDARO ka naam kharab kiya hai,agar mujhe swimming aati to jakar use bahut marta
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 SANTA g school mein 1 white aur 1 black shoes pehan kar chaly gay principal ne SANTA g ko bolaya or kaha ghar ja k shoes chang kar k ao SANTA g boly koi faeeda nahi sir ghar mein b 1 white or 1 black hi ha
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 Sardar Son: Daddy! My stomach is paining. Sardar:That's because your stomach is empty. Sardarson: Oh! Now I understand Why you always have headache.
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 SANTA Used to go college with his Dog ... After few years he had to go alone why ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? ?? Beacause the Dog GRADUATED.
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 Pappu: What's the difference between Confidence and Confidential?Santa: U are my son I'm Confident. Ur friend is also my son, that's Confidential.
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 Santa attending a interview in a software company.Interviewer:Do u knw MS Office?SANTA:Give the address.I wll find out where it is
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 How Can U Take d Window Seat From a Santa Going To London..?? Guess.?Ans:Tell Him That d Seats To London Are In d Middle ROW
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 Santa saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her. Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?" Santa: B.Com final year"
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 Teacher :What do u call a person who cannot hear?Sardar:U cn cal him anything ,bcoz he cannot hear!
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 Man:Humare America mein War ho gaya hai Sardar:Humare India mein to roz hi war hota haiMan:wo kaise?Sardar:SomWar, MangalWar, BudhWar..!
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 Sardar:Shirt K Liye Badhiya Kapda Dikhana?SalesMan:PLAIN Me Dikhau?Sardar:Hawai Jahaaz Tak Jaane Ki Kya Jarurat Hai? Yahi Dikha Do na .
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 Shadi me sardar bahut der tak khana kha raha tha.Dusre ne pucha kab tak khaoge?SardaR Main to khud kha kha k thak gayaa hu pr card me likha thaDinne7 to 10pm
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 Santa Ask Banta: Why R U Watching The Funeral By Binocular. . . ?Banta Replies: Yaar Duur Ka Rishtedaar Tha Bechaara . .
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 Taxi Driver- petrol khatm ho gaya hai. Gadi aage nahi ja sakti.Santa- KOI BAAT NAHI, reverse lelo, vapas ghar chalenge
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 SANTA: Wat is d different between POETRY and ESSAY?BANTA: Any word said by girlfriend is poetry..!Anything said by wife is essay
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 This sardarji goes to see Jurassic Park and when the Dinosaurs start approaching, he was hiding under his seat when his friend asks him: "kyon sardarji, kya baat hai? Dar kyon lag raha hai cinema hi to hai". Sardarji replies: "Aadmi hoon aur akkal hai,
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 school me master ji ne santa se poochha: "mujh me koi bhi kami nahi hai, to mujhe aap log kya kehke bulaaoge ??"santa:"kami-na.!!!"
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 Sardar bought a new colour tv and put it in the water!!! why.? Why? Why?To check whether colour goes or not..!
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 Santa always study in front of a mirror because of 3 reasons:1. It helps saving revision time.2. He can keep a watch on himself.3. He likes combined studies
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 Sardar ka dhaba:Custome Oye sardar teri lassi me makkhi he..Sardar:Oye chupkar Dil bada rakh ye nan hi si jaan teri kitni lassi piyegi
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