March 04, 2016
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I know I’m not perfect, I’m vintage, which means my flaws make me priceless!

Congratulations!!My tallest finger want to give you a standing ovation.

Maths and women are the two most complicated things in this World. BUT… Maths, Atleast, has LOGIC.



I always dream of being a millionaire like my uncle!… He’s dreaming too.

I should win an Oscar for acting like I’m busy at work.

The reason good men are hard to find is because they’re usually too busy working.

Fact: You wish Facebook had the middle finger button.



I’m not a vegetarian but I eat animals who are.

You can’t make everyone happy, so today I think you should focus on me.

The voices in my head are not real, but they have good ideas.

If you’re wondering why you’re single, date someone. You’ll remember

Waiter: Would u like ur coffee black sir? Me: What other colors do u have?

The best way to let people remember you is to ‘borrow money from them’

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